Friday, September 14, 2007

The Dismissal of Arj Barker & Homage to Myspace-Spamming

I was never one of those teeny-boppers screaming their heads off for boybands; I didn't go to my first concert when I was twelve; and I've never been to any KIIS-mas, MTV, or Nickelodean event.


I have, however, fallen for my first "celebrity".



Arj Barker.



And, I have made him one of my favorites on my myspace. In fact my best friend is pretty pissed that she is now #2 on my top friends list.




The internet has convinced adoring fans that we can "contact" our favorite celebrities, bands and band members, comedians, singers, and actors. However, most of the time the myspaces that we view as direct windows to the soul's of celebrities aren't even run by them. But, we as fans look past that obvious fact and become infatuated with the idea that our favorite celebrity could actually be the one reading all that junk fan mail that we keep spamming their myspaces with.

Yes. You know it, and we all do it: Spam our favorite celebrities.


I am not going to lie and say I don't, because I do, and I have. I officially spammed my first celebrity. I am officially a celebrity spamming non-virgin.

I messaged Arj Barker. I couldn't help it! The idea that a "celebrity" is just one click away is simply TOO irrisistable for me to ignore. I messaged him and I told him how cool I thought he was, and that since he was in San Francisco and since I was in Berkeley (only 20 mins apart) we should hang out and get drinks. In fact, I even offered to buy him drinks realizing that he probably had tons of better things to do.

So I waited for a reply. And checked my mail. I continued to wait, and I continued to check.


Nothing.

One should not have to wait a WHOLE HOUR for a response from their favorite celebrity.

Okay so it's been more like 52. But seriously, 2 days is a long ass time in myspace time. That's like 2 years in human time. What the hell is wrong with him? Does he ACTUALLY have better things to do?

And, for God's sake - I offered to buy him drinks all night! How can anyone deny free drinks?

Freakin' weirdo.

So, dear Arj, even though that may not even actually be your myspace, and you probably are too busy doing htings which are actually worth you spending your time on, I don't care and I am going to be offended that you haven't messaged me back yet, and you are officially dismissed.

That's right, Arj - you're fired!

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